1. Be myself.

2. Be less fearful.

3. Be more daring.

4. Be more active.

5. Be slow to speak.

6. Be able to say "no."

7. Be willing to not feel guilty.

8. Be more loving.

9. Be less selfish.

10. Be stern but kind.

11. Be a delegator.

12. Be willing to learn from mistakes.

13. Be a leader.

14. Be organized.

* anti-depressants and related medication

* suicide

* self-injury

* treatment

* support

"Jack of all trades, master of none"

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Be nice to everyone; you never know how you'll end up seeing them again" - My cousin Peggy

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Monday, June 19

Perfectionistic Tendencies II

The principal at my elementary school ruled against me skipping a grade ahead and so I remained stuck in first grade with second grade reading skills. (It should be noted here that second graders didn’t like me either — I was the annoying kid who knew all the answers and raised her hand all the time. No one likes that kid. Ever.) As I got older, school, naturally, became harder. In third grade, a girl named Danielle, who was smarter and prettier than me, became my first intellectual competitor. (Side note: This was a futile effort as she’s been valedictorian twice in her life and graduated from college with a degree in biophysics or biochemistry.) Constantly failing to be the best annoyed me enough at this point. Instead of my father assuring me that my best was enough, I got, “What happened to 100?” I never grew up thinking or knowing that if I got a “90,” it was an “A” and if that’s the best I could’ve done under the circumstances, then it was okay. If I got a 98, I always heard, “What happened to the other 2 points?” It was always A+ or 100never “at least you tried your best.” I began hiding tests that weren’t perfect from my parents — setting me up for a livelihood of perfectionism.

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